Andy Cohen Is Basically A Group Therapy Counselor - Tell Me I’m Wrong

By Alexandra Miceli

If you’ve ever watched a Bravo reunion and thought, “This feels... familiar...” you’re not alone. As a clinical intern who’s had the opportunity to study and experience group therapy first-hand, I had the similar thought during last season’s Real Housewives reunion. And now I can’t unsee it: Andy Cohen is basically running group therapy. Hear me out—”

Some core goals of group therapy often include fostering insight, accountability, relational awareness or emotional processing. At times there can be a common ‘reason’ everyone is in a particular group (such as a grief-processing group or an addictions group), but there are also groups that are less structured, offering a space for individuals to bring a range of experiences or concerns to the table (or the couches as Bravo does it) to process.

In a group counseling setting you will have a group leader or facilitator (or co-facilitators) that are both a part of the group itself as they guide the group through stages. Now this is certainly not a “group therapy 101” but I think it allows some initial insight into what group therapy entails. In clinical work, group therapy isn’t just chaos in a circle (though at times it may feel like it to members), but with a true facilitator and trained counselor it’s intentional, relational work. The therapist (or facilitator) helps keep the group emotionally safe, encourages reflection, and sometimes gently challenges distorted thinking. Sounding familiar yet?

Andy is facilitating?

● Andy is naming the dynamics in real-time

○ Andy uses immediacy often and brings others into the conversation. He calls out unspoken tensions between cast members, he asks adjacent parties to share their reactions and emotions to the topic at hand.

○ Let’s get clinical: Andy is “Bringing process into the room.”

● Andy holds space (sort of)

○ Andy allows cast members to express themselves fully and stays quiet (for the most part) when cast members release emotions or allow themselves to be triggered. He will even maintain space if he wants to ‘pick up there when we get back’.

○ Let’s get clinical: Andy is practicing silence and allowing room for emotional expression without immediate resolution.

● Andy recaps and reflects

○ Whether he is coming back from a commercial break or re-orientating us for a part 3, Andy is constantly summarizing a conflict and checking if it's accurate or even better conceptualizing it for the viewer. Which at times (depending who’s involved) brings self-reflection into the group.

○ Let’s get clinical: Paraphrasing and summarizing/restating is a serious tool in the therapy room. Sometimes clients need to simply hear someone else say what they just said in order to process it.

● Andy encourages direct communication

○ “Can you turn to her and tell her that” - While Andy’s motives might be for the conflict itself (and I’m not mad about it as a viewer), Andy seems to not like it when housewives talk around the problem. He encourages them to speak to each other as the conflict is worked through (this might just be in their contracts), but he’s certainly coaxing it out of them in real time.

○ Let’s get clinical: Encouraging here-and-now feedback in groups can be a key tool to leverage so interpersonal dynamics can be observed in real time.

● Andy Tolerates Discomfort for the Sake of Growth (and Ratings)

○ Like many good hosts Andy is a seasoned veteran when it comes to removing himself by embracing awkwardness of a given situation. He lets tension build instead of shutting it down. He is also the king of the side eye/head tilt combination.

○ Let’s get clinical: Sitting with conflict and discomfort can be used to build emotional insight.

Ok, so, Andy is not a licensed therapist, and there are clear motivational differences here. In the case of Andy and Bravo the motive is entertainment, whereas in group counseling, the motivations can be healing and processing. Yet his instincts (or media training) align in some very interesting ways.

The main reason why this author thinks it’s remotely interesting to discuss (other than wanting to find another reason to talk about Bravo as the cast films their next seasons) is that it’s important to acknowledge that the media teaches us about relationships, whether we like it or not.

We are learning as we watch group dynamics on TV. For some of us, it is perceived as modeling, for others it might even bring some self awareness to ourselves if we can identify what we see in others as something we see in ourselves, again, for better or for worse.

Moments in a Bravo reunion can mirror therapy because there are real emotions being witnessed. People are experiencing and sharing their (mostly) uncensored thoughts.

They differ in MANY ways. One notable thing is that while there is hope to find some resolution or healing in group therapy, not everything is buttoned up with a group with cheers or a video montage. There are not always clear paths forward that lead to an interesting ‘next season’ or lead to a new spinoff.

Group therapy can be messy and although the facilitator is there to keep everyone safe it’s important to remember that group therapy involves many more players and perspectives.

There are outside opinions (literally) while in group therapy there is confidentiality that is agreed upon (although has its caveats) it is a crucial component to group trust and safety...imagine how little you might share if you knew the world was watching.

So is Andy Cohen actually a group counselor? Of course not, but he is providing us viewers both the power and the messiness of an interpersonal process in real time. As a counselor in training I can’t help but wonder if watching reunions can give us awareness about how we show up in our own relationships - Bravo fan or not.

If you’re looking for “Real Group Therapy of NYC” (see what I did there), there are many options out there that our therapists can support you in finding, in combination with individual therapy.

You can make an appointment with one of our counselors by contacting us here. We look forward to working with you!

References

Corey, G., Corey, M. S., Callanan, P., & Russell, J. M. (2015). Group techniques. 4th Edition Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Corey, G. (2016) Theory & Practice of Group Counseling 9th edition, Cengage Learning