Laugh, Cry, Repeat: A Natural Emotional Release
By Dani Saliani
Recently, I got the opportunity to guest on the podcast "If You Can't Laugh" in an episode titled "Laughter is the best medicine... and there's no copay." You can check it out here. It got me thinking more about the ways we release our emotions spontaneously through both laughter and tears.
Burst Out Laughing: The Benefits
I love a good joke. Anything from the well-structured thinkers to just plain nonsensical absurdity. I reference Family Guy, in particular, on the podcast because that’s my unashamed happy place for absurd humor. The show messes around with every stereotype, world event and crude observation the writers can think of. Not only is there a nostalgia for my middle school years (when I certainly shouldn’t have been watching that show), but watching it also provides a container for darkness in a silly animated package. As Evans (2012) notes, “humor promotes relief from the daily grind of unfinished business.” In an absurd world, humor and laughter can not only help ease the pain of what we see in the world, it has an essential role in overcoming the effects of it.
Health is one clear example. Take one look at the news- the harshness of the world can leave us feeling stressed, which opens up the door to high blood pressure, weakened immunity, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, anxiety, and depression, among other things. There are significant health benefits to laughter that directly combat these ailments. Laughter reduces stress, improves blood pressure, stimulates muscle activity, eases stomach acidity and enhances our tolerance of pain (Evans, 2012). Along that same line, there are many studies linked to the reduction of anxiety and depression through laughter. Studies have also found that even just the anticipation of laughter can reduce one’s levels of cortisol, epinephrine and dopac, all stress hormones that can weaken the immune system (American Physiological Society, 2008).
Not to mention the apparent bonding benefits of laughter. We share these emotional experiences with those around us, for better and for worse. We often know we are on the same page with someone else when we’re both laughing at the same thing, or can make one another laugh. According to Professor Lauri Nummenmaa from the University of Turku (2017), the endorphin release from laughter in social settings can “signal safety and promote feelings of togetherness.” Laughter brings us together, and can often keep us together.
From a Gestalt perspective, a well-executed joke to the right recipient “creates a quick forming figure, a deliberate and gentle tension that momentarily builds anticipation or anxiety but then delivers instant satisfaction or completion” (Evans, 2012). How often in life is there such a concise way of moving through an emotional experience?
Frankly, though, we often can’t hold back our laughter, so it’s a good thing it has so many benefits.
Dark Sides of Humor
As a New Yorker with a sarcastic family, dark humor can roll right off my back. I’m also an incredibly sensitive individual, so humor at my expense can sometimes crack me in half. (Tough balance, eh?) Sarcasm is certainly an acquired taste, and can hit differently depending on the person, timing, content, etc. All humor, but particularly sarcasm is “subjective so that one person’s meat is another person’s poison” (Evans, 2012).
You certainly need to know your audience and when it seems appropriate to make a particular joke. Basler et al. (2025) found that a lighter style humor (such as fun, humor, nonsense, and wit) was effective in reducing anxiety and negative affect across different humor styles, whereas darker humor (sarcasm, cynicism, satire, and irony) can actually increase anxiety in individuals unaccustomed to it. Have you ever laughed along to a mean joke just because you had to? It sucks.
A note on deflection: Therapists see this all of the time. Yes, we can (and should!) laugh, but laughter and jokes can also be an avoidance strategy to not acknowledge real issues. It doesn't have to be conscious. In the same way we laugh or cry automatically, we can deflect completely out of awareness. When awareness is brought to one’s attention, the joke, the laughter, can still exist while still acknowledging real feelings.
...then you'll cry
As great as laughter is, it’s not the be-all and end-all of feelings. I’d like to think of it more as an appetizer. Now, can I eat just mozzarella sticks for dinner? Yes, I can, and I will continue to. But not every day. Real nutrition comes from real food. Dropping the analogy, laughter resolves tension quickly, but tears stay with it long enough to transform it. That’s where the full processing comes in.
Crying acts as a nervous system reset. We’re not just acknowledging something unpleasant happened, we’re letting the body authentically react to the unpleasantness or trauma. According to a daily diary study of 1004 crying episodes, for those who view crying as a coping mechanism, it can enhance emotional processing and comfort. If we’re constantly avoiding actually processing our feelings, you end up with so many of the aforementioned stress-related physical health issues. When we allow ourselves to cry, our bodies release tension, lower stress hormones, and reconnect us with the parts of ourselves that have been shutting out.
The act of crying allows us to process our grief, disappointment, and frustration. It slows us down when life has sped up too much, letting us actually feel rather than just survive. Having a healthy cry can lead to greater personal insight and self-reflection, providing clarity in emotional experiences.
Socially, it signals to others that you’re really feeling and that hopefully your vulnerability has the effect of getting supported by your community. For those we trust, it invites support. For those we’re threatened by, it asks them to stand down. In therapy, we can see how another person witnessing our tears can create connection and reduce shame in a way that nothing else does. We’re relational creatures, we need to bounce off of our environment and sometimes just need a hug.
Tears remind us that we’re human and that our emotions are best being felt through to their completion, not to bubble up inside of us until they burst.
Conclusion
Our bodies tell us what to do if we’re listening to them. Laughter and crying burst out of us spontaneously, and neither should be met with shame. These are natural responses to emotional processing and there are things to process everywhere you turn. Laughter acknowledges and opens the door to processing; tears bring that processing through to completion and integrate that new learning into our lives. Try not to intentionally hold yourself back from how you’re feeling and allow yourself to experience all of the health benefits that come from a natural emotional release.
References
American Physiological Society. "Anticipating A Laugh Reduces Our Stress Hormones, Study Shows." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 10 April 2008. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080407114617.htm>.
Basler, J., Potó, D., Kumli, K., Ferincz, M., Kárpáti, S., & Zsidó, A. N. (2025). Why aren't you laughing? The effect of dark and light humor on anxiety and affective state. Personality and Individual Differences, 240, 113133. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2025.113133
Bylsma, L. M., Croon, M. A., Vingerhoets, A. J. J. M., & Rottenberg, J. (2011). When and for whom does crying improve mood? A daily diary study of 1004 crying episodes. Journal of Research in Personality, 45(4), 385-392. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2011.04.007
Evans, Ken. “Humor in Gestalt Psychotherapy.” Gestalt, no. 42 (2), 2012, pp. 13–26. CAIRN.INFO, https://shs.cairn.info/journal-gestalt-2012-2-page-13?lang=en
University of Turku. “Social Laughter Releases Endorphins in the Brain.” University of Turku, 2017, www.utu.fi/en/news/news/social-laughter-releases-endorphins-in-the-brain.
