The Importance of Play in Adulthood: How Play Helps Us Develop, Cope, and Connect
By Sydney Kowalski
As adults, much of our lives becomes centered on what needs to get done. We spend so much time thinking about work, productivity, and what comes next, and so little time doing things that bring us enjoyment. Not to say adults never have fun anymore, but many of us become so focused on obligations that we slowly drift away from hobbies and activities we once loved. As we get older and take on more responsibilities, leisure can start to feel undeserved or even unproductive. When we think about play, we often associate it with childhood and development. We understand that play is important for children, but we sometimes forget that it remains important throughout adulthood as well. While play may look different as we age, it still serves an important psychological and emotional purpose. Play can help adults cope with stress, reconnect with themselves, foster creativity, and build meaningful connections with others.
Why Play Is Important for Development
For children, play is crucial because it often serves as a space where they can express emotions, use their imagination, develop problem-solving skills, engage in social interaction, and learn boundaries. Virginia M. Axline, a psychologist who was a pioneer of play therapy, stated that “play is the child’s natural medium of self-expression.” While this quote is often applied to children, I think it can also apply to adults. In many ways, play continues to be a natural form of self-expression throughout adulthood, even as it may look different over time.
Axline’s quote emphasizes that play is not just entertainment or a distraction but an important way humans naturally communicate emotions, experiences, creativity, and aspects of themselves that may be difficult to express directly. For children, play often becomes a way to “play out” feelings, fears, curiosity, and experiences before they fully develop the language to communicate those things verbally. Through pretend play, storytelling, games, art, and interacting with others, children begin learning emotional expression, social understanding, confidence, and problem-solving skills. Play creates opportunities for imagination, creativity, and emotional development in ways that feel natural and emotionally safe. Through play, children can often express emotions and experiences indirectly, which can feel safer and easier than verbal communication alone. This is one reason why play therapy can be so effective for children. Play gives children a space to explore emotions, relationships, and experiences in ways that feel creative, flexible, and less intimidating.
Even though adulthood looks different from childhood, emotional needs underneath play do not suddenly disappear as people get older. Adults still need emotional expression, imagination, and connection. However, play is so heavily associated with childhood that many adults begin viewing it as childish, unproductive, or unnecessary. When in reality, research continues to show that play remains critically important throughout adulthood as well.
Play in adulthood has been associated with stress reduction, creativity, emotional well-being, resilience, and relationship building. Just as play allows children to explore and express themselves, adult play can also create space for emotional expression, connection, and temporary relief from stress and responsibilities. Whether through video games, board games, art, music, sports, storytelling, or other hobbies, play often allows adults to reconnect with themselves in ways that feel enjoyable, meaningful, and emotionally restorative.
How Play Carries into Adulthood
While play is often viewed as essential for children, many adults slowly lose touch with playfulness as responsibilities and stress begin to take priority. As those responsibilities grow as we get older, we also need to be more intentional about caring for the inner child within us. The part of us that once naturally played, imagined, and explored does not just disappear. It may become quieter or pushed aside, but it still exists within all of us. Research on adult playfulness has linked playfulness to creativity, humor, spontaneity, teamwork, and positive psychological functioning, showing that play is not just something that matters when we were children but can continue to support our well-being later in life.
Societally, there is a sense that adulthood often teaches us to suppress play, work harder, manage life, and stay focused on responsibilities. Because of this, play can start to feel unimportant and even undeserved at times. However, being intentional about play can be a form of self-care. It can help adults reconnect with parts of themselves that may have been neglected due to life stress, pressure, or the need to constantly be productive. In this way, play can also feel therapeutic. It can connect us back to our more authentic childhood selves, or to the inner child in us that still needs joy, expression, safety, and care. Letting ourselves play does not mean ignoring responsibilities. Rather, it can mean remembering that we are human beings who still need rest, connection, creativity, and emotional release. Although the forms of play change with age, it still gives us permission to express, explore, and feel more connected to ourselves and our inner child.
Benefits of Play
Play can have huge emotional, cognitive, and social benefits throughout our lives. Emotionally, play can create enjoyment, relaxation, and temporary relief from stress and pressure. In adulthood, many people become overwhelmed by responsibilities, work, finances, school, caregiving, or constantly thinking about what needs to get done next. This can lead many adults to spend very little time fully immersed in activities that simply allow us to enjoy ourselves and be present in the moment. Play can give people space to temporarily step away from stress and reconnect with enjoyment, curiosity, and creativity. Play can also create moments of immersion or what psychologists sometimes refer to as “flow states,” where people become deeply engaged in an activity and are temporarily less focused on outside stressors or pressure. In adulthood, where many people feel mentally overwhelmed or emotionally exhausted, moments of immersion and presence can become especially restorative. Play can also help interrupt rigid routines and create moments of spontaneity and flexibility.
There are also many important social benefits associated with play, such as shared experiences with others, whether through board games, multiplayer video games, intramural sports, collaborative activities, or other playful social interactions. Shared play experiences can foster bonding, communication, teamwork, and emotional connection. In adulthood, loneliness and isolation can become increasingly common as we become busier and more consumed by responsibilities. Play can help social interaction feel more natural and less emotionally forced. For example, video games are one way adults may continue to engage in play throughout adulthood. While video games are often stereotyped negatively, many people use them to relax, decompress, connect socially, tell stories, or creatively express themselves. Different video game genres encourage exploration, cooperation, creativity, problem-solving, and emotional immersion. For some adults, video games may also create a sense of comfort or familiarity during stressful periods in life.
Similarly, board games can foster face-to-face social interaction and connection. Playing board games often encourages communication, teamwork, playful competition, and quality time spent with others. In a world where many adults feel increasingly disconnected or isolated, shared experiences playing together can create special moments of genuine connection and enjoyment. Even simple moments of play with friends, family, or partners can strengthen that emotional bond and foster a greater sense of belonging and community.
How Play Can Reduce Stress, Help Us Cope, Heal, and Connect
Play can serve as a great coping mechanism when we start to feel stressed, burned out, or emotionally exhausted. Engaging in enjoyable, immersive activities can provide temporary relief from pressure and help people feel more emotionally grounded and regulated. While play should not become complete avoidance from reality, healthy forms of play support emotional well-being. For many of us, life can start to feel heavily centered around responsibilities and survival. When we are constantly focused on productivity, obligations, or emotional pressure, we can slowly become disconnected from ourselves and from hobbies that once brought us joy.
Play can also feel therapeutic because it reconnects us with parts of ourselves that may have been neglected or forgotten about over time. Returning to hobbies, games, creative activities, or playful experiences can help adults reconnect with curiosity, imagination, comfort, and joy. Sometimes people feel they connect most naturally when they are engaged in activities together rather than sitting down and trying to force emotional vulnerability through conversations alone. Shared playful experiences can create laughter, emotional closeness, trust, and a sense of safety within relationships.
In a society that often prioritizes achievement, productivity, and constant pressure, play can at times feel unnecessary or undeserved. However, humans do not outgrow the need for creativity, self-expression, curiosity, enjoyment, and connection. While play may look different in adulthood, it still continues to serve a crucial emotional and psychological function in our lives. Being intentional about allowing ourselves to play may not only support stress relief and well-being but also help us reconnect with ourselves in a meaningful way.
Next time you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or emotionally exhausted, remember that play can be an incredibly restorative coping strategy. Whether it’s picking up a new video game, playing a board game with friends or family, creating art, listening to music, or returning to a favorite childhood hobby, play can help us reconnect with enjoyment, creativity, and emotional expression. As we get older, it becomes easier to lose touch with those playful parts of ourselves underneath responsibilities and stress. However, the inner child within us does not disappear. We still need moments of joy, playfulness, connection, and rest throughout adulthood.
References
Axline, V. M. (1947). Play therapy. Houghton Mifflin.
Proyer, R. T. (2013). The well-being of playful adults: Adult playfulness, subjective well-being, physical well-being, and the pursuit of enjoyable activities. European Journal of Humour Research, 1(1), 84-98. https://doi.org/10.7592/EJHR2013.1.1.proyer
Weinstein, E. (2024, August 29). Creating space for play as grown-ups and why it matters. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everyday-resilience/202408/creating-space-for-play-as-grown-ups-and-why-it-matters
