The Silent Struggle of Workplace Bullying — And How to Fight Back
By Dani Saliani
Many of us have had this experience. Whether it was full-on aggression or passive aggressive teasing, this middle school-esque memory is likely one you’d like to forget. But what about in settings in adulthood, such as the workplace? While it might be less common than as a child/adolescent, it’s more pervasive than people would like to admit and often hidden due to embarrassment. You might be telling yourself, “I thought this was over,” “This is so immature,” “Is it because of something I’m doing wrong?”
Workplace bullying actually affects millions of adults, 78.4 million (32% of Americans) to be exact, according to data from the Workplace Bullying Institute. With that level of severity, you are certainly not alone. In this post, we’ll explore what workplace bullying can look like, common misconceptions, and practical steps you can take to protect your well-being.
What’s Going On?
Workplace bullying often occurs in subtle, hard-to-name ways such as exclusion, passive aggression, or sabotage. It has more colloquially referred to as “mobbing, ganging up on someone, harassment or psychological terror in the literature” (Al Shaikh Abubakar, Ciby, & Thirlwall, 2025). “Researchers have consistently shown the detrimental effects that workplace bullying has on employee well-being” (Farley et al., 2023).
The psychological state and motivations of the individual(s) in question is a conversation for another time. You’ve likely tried to analyze this for yourself already. There are a lot of reasons that an adult would take their feelings out on a peer. Some are inappropriately responding to their own hurt. Many times, it has nothing to do with you and the person is projecting an idea of you onto you.
It goes without saying that you’re hurt, too. As is true for younger individuals who are bullied, it’s painful to experience. Not to mention that it brings up past lived experiences. According to Al Shaikh Abubakar, Ciby, & Thirlwall, those experiencing adulthood bullying suffered from a myriad of issues such as sleeping difficulties, colon issues, backbone problems, ear balance issues and intense allergies. The participants in their study reported they were also hesitant to share their “negative experiences of bullying and chose to remain silent.”
To address the question of whether or not you’re doing something to contribute, one of the first steps would be to take a non-judgmental look at your role in the interactions. Engaging with inappropriate behavior often makes the situation worse.
Take stock of the events leading up to this dynamic. Was there something you did do that led to their hurt feelings? Are you in a position where you can take ownership of that and diffuse the situation? If so, the fix might be easier than you think. If this doesn’t apply to you, read on.
What Can Be Done?
Reach Out for Help
The first solution would be to look at options such as your HR department, union, or direct supervisor. In many cases, at least one of these is applicable to your situation. “Interventions to reduce bullying have shown reductions of 20–23% in workplace bullying behaviors when organizations implement clear policies and leadership training” (Journal of Business Ethics review). You want to feel safe at work and many jobs have systems in place in order to support your safety. After all, companies typically don’t want to have this kind of reputation and, as far as their bottom line, the impact of workplace bullying can “significantly increase anxiety, which in turn negatively affects job performance” (Wu et al., 2020). However, maybe this isn’t an option for you. Maybe your bully is related to a prominent figure in the company. Or maybe it’s possible that you try to take this course of action and nothing is actually done about it.
Considering An Exit Plan
A benefit of being an adult is that you’re not necessarily trapped in a situation. This isn’t the cafeteria and you have agency now. Sure, it might feel like you’re trapped, but there are more options available to you. Depending on the severity of the bullying, you may want to consider switching departments/teams or even begin looking for a new job. I know, I know, but it might be worth it. A major cause of dissatisfaction at work is your relationship with coworkers and supervisors. Sometimes “leaders are the perpetrators of bullying, which may restrict clarity on the role they play in mitigating or exacerbating harm” (Farley et al. 2023). Before things escalate to impacting your performance at the job (at best) or serious impacts to your mental and physical well-being off the job (at worst), this is an action that’s available to you.
Lean on Trusted Coworkers
Other coworkers are likely watching what’s happening, even if they’re not forthcoming about it. Not everyone is vocal about injustice, but they might be twisting in their seat watching inappropriate behavior occur. Most people aren’t co-signing your pain at all. Being bullied can feel so isolating, but take a look at your easiest available supports. Having resources for support has “consistently buffered the harmful effects of bullying” (Farley et al. 2023). Knowing that you have people that will have your back, directly or indirectly, eases the pain of feeling targeted and alone.
Take Care of Yourself
Regardless of if any of the above solutions are effective, we need to support ourselves. You are the most accessible and effective form of support. “Personal resilience and self-care strategies are essential as personal resources alone don’t fully mitigate bullying’s impact, but they provide crucial support” (Farley et al., 2023). Whether it’s personal self-care strategies, the support of a loved one, or going to therapy, no job is worth your sanity.
Conclusion
There are countless variables in the field (from the Gestalt sense) of workplace/adulthood bullying. In sum, workplace bullying can be complex and multifaceted, but you’re not out of options. I really can’t stress that enough. With a combination of organizational support, peer connection, and individual self-care, there is still an opportunity to regain a sense of safety and well-being at work. Hopefully some of these solutions are effective for you and you’re able to regain your sense of security at work.
If you’re looking for the support of a therapist or want to explore the adverse impact that workplace bullying has had on your well-being, you can make an appointment or contact us with questions. We look forward to working with you!
References
Al Shaikh Abubakar, Hajar Alawi, et al. “Unveiling Silent Struggles of Workplace Bullying: A Qualitative Phenomenological Study From Middle‑Eastern Context.” Future Business Journal, vol. 11, Article 123, 2025, https://fbj.springeropen.com/articles/10.1186/s43093-025-00550-6.
Farley, S., Mokhtar, D., Ng, K., & Niven, K. (2023). What influences the relationship between workplace bullying and employee well-being? A systematic review of moderators. Work & Stress, 37(3), 345–372. https://doi.org/10.1080/02678373.2023.2169968
Namie, Gary, and Ruth Namie. Workplace Bullying Institute. WorkplaceBullying.org, 2025, https://workplacebullying.org/. Accessed 22 July 2025.
Wu, Mengyun, Qi He, Muhammad Imran, and Jingtao Fu. “Workplace Bullying, Anxiety, and Job Performance: Choosing Between ‘Passive Resistance’ or ‘Swallowing the Insult’?” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 10, 2020, article 2953, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02953. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6978733/.
