Circling Back to Sanity: A Realist's Guide to Workplace Resilience
By Amanda LaMela
Building mental resilience in a corporate career can sometimes seem like mastering the art of walking barefoot over hot coals (only the flames are endless meetings, impossible deadlines, and passive-aggressive emails.) Trust me, I've walked that fiery path, trading 13 years as a fashion buyer for a new life in mental health counseling. It turns out that resilience is more than surviving the corporate inferno. It’s about thriving within it. And even after leaving it behind, I couldn't help but delve deeper into the science behind workplace resilience.
My transition from fashion to counseling wasn't exactly the seamless movie montage I had imagined. Toward the end, my corporate job felt like a pair of killer heels: initially empowering, eventually blister-inducing, and finally unbearable. Burnout crept in, whispering doubts in the style of "Do you even like this anymore?" and "Who are you really?" However, more chilling thoughts had kept me frozen in place, like “The grass isn’t always greener…what if you're wrong?”
This existential tumble down the rabbit hole sparked my curiosity (and desperation) about resilience. So, I plunged headfirst into books, research articles, and any resource promising to reveal the secrets to thriving in challenging careers. Among them was Kathryn McEwen's aptly named book, Building Your Resilience: How to Thrive in a Challenging Job. My inner nerd rejoiced as I pored over journals and studies, uncovering why some of us bend while others break.
The Riddle of Resilience
Here's the poetic twist: workplace resilience is not simply about toughing it out. In fact, “toughing it out” is rarely a sustainable plan. Instead, resilience is about a graceful balance between stress and recovery, connection and boundaries, and self-awareness and action. Research consistently shows that resilience isn't some mystical trait some people are born with. Resilience is a skill refined by experiences, perspective, and resources.
A fascinating study discovered that employees who faced repeated supervisor hostility and customer rudeness experienced overwhelming emotional exhaustion. Yet, those with higher resilience buffered these interactions, preserving their capacity to thrive despite hostile environments (Al-Hawari, 2020). Additionally, a study on work functioning among young adults revealed that persistent mental health challenges significantly reduce an individual's capacity to meet job demands (de Groot, 2022). In short, resilience protects your mental health and directly enhances your workplace performance.
The Hidden Levers of Resilience
Several factors influence our workplace resilience more than we realize. Organizational psychologist Kathryn McEwen (2023) identifies seven:
Authenticity: Being authentic means showing up as the real you. Staying aligned with your true self (instead of a carefully curated professional persona) boosts genuine confidence, which makes you less likely to crumble under corporate pressures. Another major part of authenticity is understanding our unique strengths and actively seeking roles that align with these abilities. To identify your unique strengths and motivations, try periodically pausing to ask, “Which work tasks am I most drawn to – and why?” Trust me, your inner peace (and performance reviews) will thank you.
Support: Support is about nurturing meaningful, genuine relationships with people who get you. Studies show these real-deal relationships act like emotional airbags, cushioning stress and making the workplace bearable (Okojie, 2023). Strong social and family connections can also help relieve the mental load when the going gets tough. So, consider those regular lunch breaks with your bestie as official resilience-building activities.
Purpose: Purpose is about finding a career ladder you actually want to climb. Connecting your work to your deeper values and beliefs ignites a sense of belonging and fulfillment that can weather any workplace storm. Regularly reflecting on your "why" can turn tedious tasks into meaningful steps toward your bigger goals.
Adaptability: Adaptability means becoming the office chameleon - gracefully flexing when plans change, deadlines shift, or leadership announces (yet another) restructuring. Easier said than done, right? True adaptability involves reframing obstacles into opportunities, adopting solutions-oriented language, and spreading positive energy (even when all you want to do is scream). It's also about managing the negativity from others, staying grateful for small wins, and embracing humor as your secret weapon. If this feels like an ambitious list, that's because it is. So, start small! Next time something frustrating happens, pause and challenge yourself to see it through a humorous or solution-focused lens. Even if it doesn’t immediately change the situation, it can shift your energy.
Self-Care: Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and scented candles (though those help, too). Self-care is about building routines that sustain you mentally, physically, and emotionally. As New Yorkers, we tend to take productivity recommendations to the extreme. However, overdoing a self-care routine disregards the “self” and abandons the “care.” Simple short breaks, therapy, mindfulness exercises, and little joys built into your day can combat burnout and keep your sanity intact. Start with romanticizing and amplifying life’s small delights.
Networks: Resilient people tend to be connected people. Start working to assemble your personal squad of mentors, coaches, and colleagues who are ready to back you up. It’s about knowing when to lean on someone and when to be that shoulder for others. Don’t hesitate to use professional resources, seek advice, or solicit constructive feedback. After all, even superheroes have sidekicks.
Energy: Energy management isn’t about surviving solely on espresso shots (tempting, I know). It’s about fueling yourself properly with nutritious food, regular movement, and enough sleep. But let's be real; it can feel like everything will crumble if you dare step away for a quick walk or take that extra 10 minutes for lunch rather than hitting up the vending machine. Acknowledge this tension, start small, and remind yourself that your energy directly influences your performance. Even tiny steps toward better energy habits can gradually create more breathing room in your hectic work life.
Final Thoughts on Workplace Resilience
My leap from strategy meetings to therapy sessions taught me that the key to thriving amidst career chaos is not to pretend everything is perfect (because that hardly ever works). It's recognizing when to ask for help, when to pause, and when to pivot.
So, remember this next time you are tempted to rage quit or slam the "Reply All" button in exasperation: Resilience is mastering the art of turning "Are you @#&%$ kidding me?!" into "I've got this."
You can can book appointment with Amanda or any of our clinicians by contacting us here and listing the therapist you’d like to work with, or simply make an appointment below. We look forward to working with you!
References
Al-Hawari, M. A., Bani-Melhem, S., & Quratulain, S. (2020). Do Frontline Employees Cope Effectively with Abusive Supervision and Customer Incivility? Testing the Effect of Employee Resilience. Journal of Business and Psychology, 35(2), 223–240. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10869-019-09621-2
de Groot, S., Veldman, K., Amick III, B. C., & Bültmann, U. (2022). Work functioning among young adults: the role of mental health problems from childhood to young adulthood. Occupational and Environmental Medicine (London, England), 79(4), 217–223. https://doi.org/10.1136/oemed-2021-107819
McEwen, K. (2023). Building your resilience: How to thrive in a challenging job. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/320196125_Building_Your_Resilience_How_to_Thrive_in_a_Challenging_Job
Okojie, G., Ismail, I. R., Begum, H., Ferdous Alam, A. S. A., & Sadik-Zada, E. R. (2023). The Mediating Role of Social Support on the Relationship between Employee Resilience and Employee Engagement. Sustainability, 15(10), 7950-. https://doi.org/10.3390/su15107950
